Part 1 of our Adoption Story

I'll be the first to admit that now isn't the most convenient time to adopt. The church planting process is long and difficult, and we've learned that we're doing it in the most challenging way possible (without a core group). Moving from one place to another and then trying to bring a new family member into the mix doesn't make it easier on the girls. Adoption can be stressful, and it's always costly.

 

When I bring up Li, which is extremely often, I regularly get the question "Why did you decide to adopt?" It's never asked with judgment or disgust. People simply want to know why we as a family have decided to adopt.

 

We're adopting for the same reason that we're planting a church. Since all four Attaways have chosen to follow Christ, we are all ministers of the Gospel. That means that all four of us have volunteered to make sacrifices to bring other people closer to a saving relationship with our King. We do this through our everyday relationships, church planting, secular work, and now through adoption.

 

But adoption has always been a part of our family's calling.

 

When I was fourteen, my mom handed me a copy of the Birmingham News that included a story about Steven Curtis and Mary Beth Chapman and their decision to adopt. I don't remember what the article said, exactly. I just remember thinking, "I want that! I want a family that is built by grace and not just biology."

 

From that time, I started praying for the birth mother(s) of my child or children. I prayed that God would use their pregnancies and eventual decisions to surrender their children to bring them into a relationship with Him. I prayed that they would have healthy pregnancies and make good choices on behalf of the children that we would both mother in two different ways. I prayed that God would bless them. I have no idea how God has responded to those prayers.

 

I also started praying for the child or children that my husband and I would eventually adopt. I prayed that they would be loved until we could get to them. I prayed that they would be cared for and that their needs would be met. I prayed that He would let them know, somehow, that they have a family who loves them and who will not stop until we brought them home.

 

On my first date with Edwin, I told him that God had called me to adopt, and that it was a deal-breaker for me. I understand that not all men feel that they can love a child that isn't their biological descendant. (Though I don't really believe that they're all correct about that.) Edwin didn't really have an opinion on the matter to that point, and he was more than happy to consider adoption. He let me know that he also came with requirements. He was called to the ministry, and that meant that his wife would need to be called to being a ministry wife. I had already accepted that as a part of God's call on my life, so it looked like we were in the clear.

 

After Edwin and I got married and had our two beautiful girls, we decided it was time to start actively pursuing adoption. We tried working through the foster care system, but God closed that door. We began to think that He was closing the door to adoption altogether. We couldn't imagine a way to pay the fees and costs of international adoption.

 

But the idea wouldn't let us go. It was about a year ago that Edwin and I returned to the idea of international adoption. As God had planned it, Edwin knew a man who had become an important leader in a Christian adoption agency. Not wanting to be swindled, Edwin called his trusted brother in Christ to talk about the possibility of international adoption. Although we still didn't understand how we would pay the fees, which came to about 75% of our annual income, we knew that it was what God would have us do and that this agency was how God wanted us to move forward.

 

So we took out a loan against our retirement to pay the initial fees, and we got going. God has provided in many different ways throughout the process. Many of His people have graciously given to the adoption fund, and we've received grants from a few organizations. I also took on a job to pay the outstanding fees when we needed additional funding.

 

This summer we found the profile for a little guy who was listed by the name of Maxwell. The list of medical issues seemed long, but we talked to several people, and we eventually spoke to a doctor who had seen the little guy recently. His medical concerns weren't non-existent, but they were certainly manageable for us.

 

 

 

As I looked through the pictures of this precious little boy, I felt hot tears fall down my face. He was mine! I don't know how, but I knew it. I was looking at my son.

 

It took Edwin a little longer, but when we received a recent photo, he became convinced of the same truth that I had come to know. The little boy in the picture was our child, and we had to bring him home!

 

It was around the same time that God called us to leave Brushton and move to Jamestown. We moved because that's what God was calling us to do. It meant that we would have to have our home study revised, but it would work out. We could be where we were called to live and adopt the child that we were called to adopt. (I've learned that God's will never contradicts itself.)

 

Then I learned how God had answered the prayers that I prayed as a teenager. A couple of years ago, a young woman from the Jamestown area felt called to serve God overseas. She followed His voice and found herself in China. In a foster home. Holding a little boy to whom she gave the English name Thad. The young woman prayed for the baby she held, and she prayed for his forever family.

 

Her parents began to pray for the baby boy who had come into the foster home with several medical concerns. Her parents became one of his sponsors. They contributed to his medical care. The young woman's mom even made a trip to visit her daughter. During her stay, she held the little boy she had loved and in whom she had invested financially and through prayer.

 

That little boy was my son. I had prayed that God would find someone to hold my little boy and tell him that he is loved and precious and so very valuable until I could get there and do that job myself, and He provided a young woman from Jamestown! Praise God for her obedience to her calling and His faithfulness in all things!

 

Why are we adopting? We're adopting because we were adopted. We were born into this world broken, in desperate need of a Father to make us His own. We weren't healthy. We weren't the heirs that He deserved. But we were His. He saw us, and He knew that Edwin Attaway was His son, and Hannah, DeLaynie, and Ella Attaway were his daughters.

 

We are adopting because this little boy is worth every bit of the effort and financial cost that it will take to bring him home.

 

We're not adopting because we think that this little guy needs us to come and save him. We're adopting because we need God to save us, and so does Li.

 

We're adopting because it's our privilege to do so.

 

I know that everything could get more difficult tomorrow. I know that something could take a wrong turn, and we could get our hearts broken. The wonderful news is that since the beginning of time, our lives have belonged to God, and He knows what He is doing. We're just going to keep following Him wherever He leads, and we pray and genuinely believe that one step on that journey will bring our son into our arms.

 

 

 

 

We sent a box before Christmas, hoping that it would get there in time, but we sent it hopelessly late. The wonderful foster home director sent us these pictures of our little guy as he gets a first look at the photo album that we included. He also got to wear his first "knit by mom" hat. His reaction bears an uncanny resistance to the girls' initial reaction to new knit-wear. 

 

 

If you're considering the possibility of adopting from Asia, I highly encourage you to check out this webinar from Lifeline. They are a wonderful agency, and I cannot recommend them more.